I hope you there with me
by Eurora
Summary: Tonks is alone at home. She's thinking... Thinking to Remus. She's afraid. Remus wasn't here since two days... Two long days... He has been given an assignment for the Order. She tried not to think about it, but she coudn't help imagining the worst... Has she right?


She couldn't stop crying.

The night had fallen and she was alone... Alone at home.

Her flat was too big for her... Too quiet. She didn't like it. She didn't like it anymore. Not since this last night spent with _him_... It was here, on this very sofa, in these cushions. It started here. She remembered how near he was. She even could feel the warmness of his body even if he wasn't there today.

She was afraid. Afraid for him... He wasn't there tonight.

Remus has been given an assignment by Dumbledore... It was already two days since he left and it seemed to her it was a year... She wasn't agree for this assignment. She said it. Of course nobody else could do this task but Remus so he was the only one who could do it... She was angry against Dumbledore, she was angry against everyone who had not shown their disagreement...

She wanted him there. She wanted him to hold her in his arms. She was cold. Cold inside.

She couldn't stop thinking to him. She couldn't stop thinking to their last conversation.

He told her that between them there will never be anything... Nothing else than friendship... But still he hold her in his arms and held her very tightly before leaving. As if he couldn't help to feel her so near. He felt more than he knew that she was sad.

He didn't like it when she was sad.

But they were friends._ Just friends. _He _couldn't_ even think they could be more. He shouldn't.

It was really recently that she began to have doubts about her feelings... She did not say a word about it for some weeks but then, she couldn't live without telling him what she felt. It wasn't in her nature to stay with things hidden. She said him three days ago.

And now, he wasaway... And Tonks was totally frightened he would never come back... Dumbledore was unconscious, wasn't he ?! He sent him towards werewolves ! They are totally out of control. It wasn't Remus. Remus was harmless ; he was all kindness... His presence makes her feel secured. She wanted him to be there with her...__

But the others... They could hurt him! He wasn't like them! And there was no one to protect him, no one to help him if he was in trouble... Whatif something happened?

_She was afraid he would never come back. _

Since some weeks, she analyzed the way in her heart. She analyzed her feelings, and she knew.

She knew she loved him.

And now he was away... She couldn't stop being afraid to lose him ; she couldn't stop looking after him each time she heard something weird in her flat. Noises. But it was nothing... There was nobody here with her... She was desperately alone since two days. __

_Ridiculous, Tonks. _

J_ust a friend._ She couldn't help thinking about it, about his last words...

She wanted him by her side. She wanted to feel him next to her, reassuring her with his words... Or just talking about anything. _Anything_. But she wanted him there so hard that she couldn't help crying... She was afraid... What if he was cruelly injured ? What if he died ? She had not spent enough time with him... She wanted to tell him... She wanted to tell him how much he meant for her. She wanted to share it with him. But he was away.

Last week, he fought for her... She liked thinking about that. For her but not only... She hoped he will come back just for her... She knew it was selfish to think that... But love was a bit selfish sometimes, wasn't it? But we couldn't feel resentment against her, could we ? Today it seemed she wanted to fight for him too... It was a strange feeling. Love.

She was in her bed, trying to warm her up, but it seemed very difficult because of this sensation of cold which held her tight. She even had the impression that in a way she was linked to him... Strange, wasn't it?

It seemed that if she was cold, there was only one meaning... He was cold too. She wanted him so much there. Did he think about her ? Surely not. He was without any doubt too busy! But she really hoped one thing...

His come back. She just had to hope he was safe. Where was he? She wanted to know but she couldn't... Where did werewolves hide themselves? Forests? Far in the forests? Mountains?... She hoped Remus was safe. He was not where he should be. He did not belong to them! He should be with the Order, with Tonks... with her, with his _true_ friends.

In the middle of the night, she managed to nod off...

… Actually, it was very late in the night that she woke up. She heard a noise... Like something hitting the window of her bedroom. She immediately got out of her bed and caught her wand. She always slept with her wand next to her... Never far. Simple security. What was it ? Slowly she approached of the window but in the dark outside, she could see nothing. Except when another 'tap' hit the window. She opened it forgetting precautions warnings. Her face was hit by the fresh air but she did not feel it. She looked in the street... But she saw nothing at all...

And suddenly she heard...

"... Nymphadora..."

It was just a murmur. A weak murmur. Tonks froze with fear... She recognized the voice. Without even closing her window, she ran as fast as she could in the hall to open the front door. She went out and rushed up towards him... She stopped in front of him, seized him by the arm. She was literally frozen ; it seemed something has just hit her on the face because she felt a rude shock. She stifled an exclamation of surprise and got immediately cold.

She knew it was too dangerous! She knew it!

"I'm here. I'm here" she repeated constantly despite the sudden weakness of her voice. She put a firm arm around his waist before helping him to come into her apartment.

*°*

"Who did this to you, Remus ?" she said in a voice she tried to control. Her face was pale while she sat next to him in the sofa and start to clean his face with a piece of wet rag. It was blood. His face, his hands and his clothes were covered with blood. Had he been attacked ? Did he fight? Were werewolves who have done that ? She wanted to kill the one who has done it to him whoever he was! And she hated Dumbledore at the moment, he was the one who allowed it to happen! She knew it was dangerous but no one has listened to her !

He has not told anything yet in spite of her questions... He seemed in state of shock and his eyes were wide open but like empty. Even when she touched him, he trembled uncontrollably but said nothing.

She did not like that.

Still, she couln't help thinking that he has gone straight to her place... _This is stupid, Tonks_! He is injured and all you can say is that he came to your place!

She put away the little rag presently stained with blood. She hold his hand, trying to make him realize she was by his side. "Remus?" A shiver got over him and he looked towards her at last... He seemed to notice she was there. She smiled to him.

"Calm down. You're safe, here. Now. Er... You must change... Your clothes... And you must sleep"

She wanted to know what has happened, but she did not want to force him to do anything. The more important was that he had to rest.

For the moment she just wanted him to feel more comfortable. She approached him and draped her arms around him, trying just to comfort him, as if she could make him forget all that has happened whatever it was... She wanted him to feel he was not alone. She felt him froze beneath her arms, as an uncontrollable shiver.

Protect him. She tightened her arms around him, as if she wanted to tell him that he had nothing to fear, that nothing could happen again, that she was there. She bent her head forwards his chest and just stayed like this, hearing his heartbeats... _Too fast... Too fast... _Like he was still afraid.

_Slow down, slow down... _As if she wanted to speak right to his heart. Without words.

Very slowly his heart seemed to beat in a more normal way.

She remained in the same positionlistening to his heart against him, arms around him and held him tightly. They just stayed like this the rest of the night. It did not take a long time along to send her into sleep again. This time she was not cold inside... On the contrary she felt secured, and deep inside she was just happy to be there, happy he was here... She only hoped he felt like her.

She hoped all night long he would be by her side... But now, now she saw the way he looked when she found him in front of her door, she just only hoped he will not be there. Not there but safe! Not injured...

But perhaps it was what it had to happen.

In any case, she just loved looking after him like this. He needed that. He never took care of himself! So he needed someone to support him. She liked it and she wanted to look after him all day long... Looking after both his poor and injured heart. She wanted to wrap him like that all the days. __

_She would have hoped she could just keep him to stay forever with her, but they could not. The day will rise again and an other day will start..._

But for the moment he was there and this was the most important...

He was safe.

"They were angry... Can't do anything... Don't want to... I tried..." His voice was blanked... His face was still pale. And he stopped himself each time before he finished what he was saying... As if he wanted to tell everything at the same time.

His voice made her shiver as she held him tighter against her while she answered in a lower tone... "Don't think about it anymore. Don't talk if you don't want to... You're safe now." _You're safe now._ It was the most important at the moment. She slowly back off and looked right into his eyes. Eyes she did not seem to recognize... So extinguished... Without this light she always liked even if they were always sad. They were so different... So distant... She wanted to protect him...

Protect him from all the world outside...

He tried to smile her and that was all. Tonks did not want to force him to talk if he did not want to. Not tonight. They could talk about it tomorrow... Night was for sleeping. She wrapped herself against him and closed her eyes, she wanted to bring warmth to his heart, wanted to bring him all what he needed now. __

_She felt full. Instinctively, she knew it was the same for him... _


End file.
